Jaundiced Pigs Spitting

In May 1998, a series of riots took Jakarta by storm. Our eyes, flooded by tears, witnessed the violent abuse of the pribumi towards the ethnic Chinese, as Suharto’s regime came to its ultimate demise. In our metropolis, solace was nowhere to be found, as the rancid stench of grim suffering and odium poisoned the arid minds of the victimized. Our great Jakarta, past its façade of glass and steel, was reduced to social debris, as discord between the ethnic Chinese and the native Indonesians disjointed our people in an infinite void of grudge.

My people, yellow-skinned public spitters of horrid artistic tastes, pride ourselves for our cunning wit, perseverance, and willingness to do anything to achieve success. This is who we are, and for being who we are, we have achieved much in this archipelago of seemingly endless opportunities.

In our short time of living here, we, who constitute for just about two percent of the Indonesian population, have grown to dominate the Indonesian aristocracy, with over eighty percent of Indonesia’s wealthiest being of Chinese race.

Funny how the minority comprises for the majority of the privileged. They hate us, but it’s certainly understandable. Envy, after all, is among the most effective catalysts for strife. Throw in obese Italians and you have yourself an opera.

We whine about how we are not given equal rights – how Indonesia will never have a Chinese president; how we are viewed as treasure houses for which we are to be exploited with bribery and corruption. Taxation is targeted at Chinese people and we complain. Sure, it’s irritating, but it is only logical that they tax the people who actually have money to be taxed for.

The reason the Chinese people are so wealthy in this country is that we are selfish and devious enough to exploit the naïve pribumi. Our industriousness doesn’t purely owe to our natural intelligence and determination – it’s more about how fortunate we are that these people are gullible enough to tolerate THEIR underpayment; THEIR mistreatment; the harvesting of THEIR natural resources for our capitalist mindsets. Take a look at America, the capitalist haven where WE are the used ones – mere chefs, butchers, maids, and takeout boys confined to ghetto Chinatowns.

A chauvinistic Chinese idiot keeps on saying how we are the superior race; how CHINESE people are better at designing AMERICAN furniture than AMERICANS are; how sleazy and faulty every non-Chinese person is; how we strive while others fail. True, such is the case in Indonesia, where the natives are not fully acquainted with capitalist evil. But if his bigoted remarks are so true, then why does he continue admitting that he would not be able to do business in Australia – a land of capitalist Caucasians?

Our successes are based on their failures. We took hold of Singapore – Malayan land – and converted it into a thriving Chinese metropolis while its neighbors, Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur, remain overshadowed by the merlion. Worst of all, they didn’t even realize that we stole their land, and they remain kind and naïve enough to supply Singapore with water.

We ought to stop complaining that they’re not giving us enough rights or that they treat us as the filthy exploiters that we are. We ought to stop viewing ourselves as the finer people and realize that our cousins in Western Chinatowns aren’t doing as well as we are. We ought to realize that though we dwarf the Indonesians here, we remain overshadowed by Caucasians in their lands. We ought to end our parade of social superiority, sympathize, and help, rather than shrilly whining about the poverty and hunger that we – jaundiced, ravenous, conceited, spitting gluttons – have brought unto them.

From Monks to China, a relfection on my ever swinging cultural crisis

Monks versus the Myanmar Military Junta

A reflection of my ever swerving condemnation…

I hate China.

In a post relating to the monks versus the military Junta of Myanmar, you would probably not expect that I, a Chinese adolescent girl firstly condemn China.

Well I must assure you, I myself am not quite sure of where that hatred spawned from or how long it will last, but I implore you to stay with my jumbled train of thoughts.

It all started this afternoon, I had nothing to do and well, was somewhat leisurely skimming the New York Times (albeit the fact that I do have homework). Noting an article by SETH MYDANS (se article at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/27/world/asia/27myanmar.html?em&ex=1191038400&en=44b7d786792f3376&ei=5087%0A)

I recalled some rather vague facts about the protests. My initial reaction was somewhat mild, I was amused. I, Stephanie Andini Tangkilisan was amused by this news.

Instead of being, ‘awwhh, that’s too bad, poor monks! Go monks!’ I was more like, ‘Hah! Those moronic junta’s can’t act brutally against those monks’, and started to think of circumstances and in a way was sort of naïve to think that the protesters being predominantly monks could stop a dictatorship eventually.

I was optimistic, I for once was optimistic, and my thoughts just drabbled away to my schoolwork and rested the thoughts based on my still slightly rose colored glasses, denying that I was just a vitriolic cynic.

Well, today, that glasses were even more smashed, even more trampled, but much more significant to the loss in my faith of humanity was the loss complete depravation of my faith in my own race, in my own supposed motherland, China.

“In response to the violence, the United Nations Security Council called an emergency meeting on Wednesday to discuss the crisis, but China blocked a Council resolution, backed by the United States and European nations, to condemn the government crackdown.” – Seth Mydans

I know, I know I haven’t done what proper methods there are to journalism, but from what I can comprehend, my China, the land from which about 90% of my heritage comes from are acting against monks, defending another dictatorial regime!

And with that paragraph, the hate fluttered and then, SOARED. I am ashamed of being Chinese, why in the name of all things wonderful would they block this resolution?

Why is the government, such a bloody (literally and not literally) religion-less and cold hearted nation?

Where were they when Chinese people living in Indonesia was massacred and purged in the anti-Communist purge of 1965 (which by the way had the death toll at a vague number of 500.000-1.000.000.

Where were they when the anti-Chinese riots of 1998 happened?

I heard, they even denied entry and denied asylum! It’s not like they are Singapore, their land could actually, I don’t know fit a lot of refugee’s! I don’t know, maybe, just maybe, they really don’t count as Chinese citizens, and even worse, maybe they don’t even care if we are Chinese and if we are dying.

What I wouldn’t pay to have a nation that respects my heritage, that respects the fact that I exist, and want to exist!

By now, I have strayed far away from the topic of Monks and Myanmar, I beg your apology, but at this present moment, I am simply GLAD that I am not 100% Chinese, despite the fact my friends have called me less than kind words of my other 10% Indonesian blood. (YES I AM STILL INDIGNANT OVER YOU RACIST INDIVIDUALS…)

Perhaps I am merely vengeful, perhaps, I’m simply odd.

But pray tell, when the nation I supposedly belong to simply alienates me, perhaps, I must say I’m glad to be Indonesian. (Yes, the Chinese were also harmed yet again in 1998, but I'm ignoring that at the present moment (I'm illogical that way))

Perhaps instead of the Great Land of China, the supposedly next Super Power of the World, I can be contented and proud with the fact that I am a citizen of Indonesia, who despite not being the best of nations, still grant me civil liberties, still give me the land, food and daily necessities that I all to often am less than thankful for.

So my most sincere (albeit unashamed) apologies if I do not share the same affinities towards China as you do. As most Chinese do?

Why should I?

Yes, I'm soar over certain recent events, yes, I'm acting completely illogical and as seen by this post, I've totally shredded every ounce of what was left of my reputation as a logical and reasonable person, I stand by my opinion of being less than loving of the government that China is now. (A particular purely scathing and ultimately EVIL communistic and (now capitalistic bastards).

You see, when my great grandfathers fled from China and into this Indonesian archipelago, they left their motherland but gained a new one, Indonesia, in which, my ancestors finally found the contentment we so desired.

So yes, when Chinese New Year rolls around, you can bet I will still say those endearing (and somewhat magical) four words, but I’ll promise to you now, those words are not a symbol of my respect or affinty with all that is Chinese, but merely my longing for those sweet red money filled envelopes.

Hindered by Heritage (alright that is by far the tackiest tittle I've Made COMPOSED)

You know what sucks about being Chinese Indonesian?

No matter how much we love our country, Indonesia, no matter how much we fight for it, and no matter how much we sacrifice for it (be it blood, sweat or tears) most Indonesians, still wont view us as true Indonesians anyway.

The paradoxical irony is that we often herald our Chinese blood and customs, but we are patriotically to Indonesia, which for the most part unacknowledged our citizenship. (It was just recently that a law was enacted that Chinese Indonesian can be president. (the irony lies in the fact that such a law was NEEDED)

With our narrow eyes, light yellow-ish skin tone, hard working mentality and gauche culture we have inherently given up the right to be 'truly' Indonesian.

Maybe it's just me, but don't you think it's true, despite being born, and raised here, we're not really INDONESIANS are we? We, despite not speaking Chinese are so obviously and often painfully confused by who we are, and to whom our loyalties lies to.

I suppose, we are not alone in this matter, Mexicans who have lived in America for years still suffers being called illegal 'aliens' though they are technically Americans. (I despise how Americans insist on bad mouthing them despite Latin American's contribution to their economy, and how they pompously complain that the Mexicans will 'ruin their 'native' American culture' (WHAT CULTURE, THEY WERE ALL EUROPEAN IMMIGRANTS!!! will maybe write a blog entry on that in the future))

Even in our own soil, not only the Chinese are suffering from this, Bule's who love Bali and Indonesia are still called Bule's and will forever be called so. (No matter that they have learned the language and lived here for decades)

This pattern is uniquely and sadly universal, occurring everywhere and in many different degree's.

Why are humans so obsessed and eternally entrapped with distinguishing people firstly and fore mostly by their skin colors and physical characteristics?

And despite you inwardly disagreeing these blatant accusations, there is no denying that we all, are innately shallow! (well not ALL, several blind people and humanists can be exceptions , but how many are there really?)

What do you think?

Love, Steph

*not graded please, unless I don't post for like, the rest of this week*

WHEE! Bangkok, Thailand HMCA!